Monday, March 24, 2014

I'm just saying

Why poltergeists know better than to
 mess with people who have young kids:

1. It would take them a while to realize they were even being...geisted? poltered?

" I KNOW I just shut all these friggen drawers,
 I swear let me catch another child not shutting a drawer..."

" WHO left these lights on? Are YOU going to get a job and pay for the electric bill??
 I don't want to hear about it not being you...who else could have done it??"

"Did you hear that noise? The kids are in their beds...rats, we must have rats. 
I TOLD YOU to clean between the couch cushions better"

2. Even the undead fear new moms

" For the love of all that is holy I will cut you if you wake 
my sleeping infant that I just spent 14 hours getting to sleep. 
NO I don't care that you're delivering my paper, I don't care if you're being murdered. 
UNLESS the house is on fire, you're taking your life in your own hands 
when you disturb my child"

" Did you wash your hands? Support her head.
What the hell do you mean you've been throwing up all morning. 
WHY are you touching my child ???"
* flash to any scene from 300*

3.  I would like to think they have some shred of decency. 

" Listen dude...I know we have a quota but this chick 
just spent all night singing until she lost her voice trying to soothe that 
screaming little banshee, she got spit up on...twice. She hasn't eaten a 
decent meal in four days, and then when she finally did get the 
baby to sleep her husband woke it up four hours later
getting ready for work....let's skip this one, she kinda scares me" 

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