Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year Subway Art Decorating

Happy New Year! Almost. I actually have to work tomorrow, and the baby has been a little fussy today so we decided to stay in, grab some Zaxby's and call it a night watching the Chick-fil-A Bowl until it's time for bed. GEAUX LSU by the way! haha. I love decorating for the holidays, any holiday from Valentines to Halloween and everything in between. Call me a nerd but it's something that I love. I have scoured the internet looking for something called subway art for each holiday or each season. My loving hubby likes to call it "hobo art " God bless him......

I usually put one in a frame in the bathroom and then two in the open spaces I have above our entertainment center. I don't usually create them, the only one I did was when my baby girl was born. So without further ado here are where you can find your own New Year Subway Art, plus some ideas on how to use them to decorate. I also have a filler page to use between holidays or seasons for mine it just looks so much better than a blank empty space in my opinion. I shall post more whenever I change them out. Happy New Year!!!!!

In a frame in the bathroom ( also can use on the kitchen counter, side tables, entryway.. etc)
 
  
In the two spots above the t.v. ( sorry you can't really see the actual Subway art but trust me it's really pretty) 

 The first Subway Art in the bathroom frame can be found HERE
The second set of Subway Art that look like a matching set can be found HERE and HERE
Happy Decorating!!!

Saturday, December 29, 2012

FLIPPIN' amazing caramel corn recipe!


The other day I told you guys about this amazing caramel corn recipe that my mother-in-law had and I was going to attempt to replicate. I had everything that she said I would need for the recipe except one crucial ingredient: the right popcorn. She has a popcorn machine that allows her the ability to measure out cups and decide not to add any salt or butter while I on the other hand do not. What I did have however was a very promising box of store brand movie theater butter packs. After sampling them both I have come to the conclusion that they are both AWESOME, it just depends on what you are going for. If you want a more sugary flavor then use the popcorn machine, no sugar or salt to pop it. If you want a buttery sweet flavor that tastes JUST like Cracker Jacks then use the bags like I did. Either route you take will be delicious, here it is:



3 Bags of  Popped Popcorn ( I used movie theater butter)
2 Sticks of Margarine (She uses Butter..mine had enough with the popcorn flavor)
2 Cups of Brown Sugar
1/2 Cup of Light Corn Syrup
1 tsp. of Vanilla Extract
1 tsp. of Baking Soda

Pre-heat the oven to 225, and pour the three bags of popped popcorn into a LARGE bowl. Put the Margarine, Brown Sugar, and Corn Syrup into a pot on med. to high heat. Stir all together until the mixture is blended and begins to boil. When it starts to boil set the timer for five minutes and do not stir it. After the five minutes is up remove from heat and add the Vanilla and Baking Soda. Mix those together, it will get really foamy and weird looking. Pour slowly over the popcorn and mix it all together. Then spread out the popcorn on two baking sheets with Silpats or parchment paper on them. Slide them into the oven and let them bake for one hour. Every 15 minutes pull the pans out and stir them all up to ensure they cook evenly. When the hour is up let it cool on the counter for about 10 minutes then store in an airtight container. This is seriously my family's new favorite snack and if your house is anything like mine it wont be sitting around long enough to get stale. Trust me.


Friday, December 28, 2012

Holiday Update!

Hello all, I haven't had a chance to write anything these past few days. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, my family was beyond blessed this year in gifts that you can't buy at a store. We had quite a bit of family visiting this season, both from hubby's family and mine which was nice. Then of course we did the Christmas swap with my brother and sister and their significant others on Christmas Eve. Hubby's family stayed through Christmas until about a day ago so now the house is back to being its normal quiet self. I have a lot to post about, but nothing that I can quite do now. I have a recipe for Caramel Popcorn that will knock your socks off from my mother-in-law and Hubby actually made my coat rack!!!! I just need to slap on some paint, distress it and then post it all. I'm very happy with the way it's turning out and I can't wait to show it off!

On another note I finished reading Clockwork Angel, and now I'm reading Clockwork Prince the second book in the Infernal Devices series. Clockwork Angel was AMAZING so I definitely recommend giving it a read. I'm also a little sad to report that I have gained some weight this holiday season. I do see the irony in making a post about Caramel corn and then complaining about weight, but I have determination to lose the weight before bathing suit season so it's ok. Summer creeps up on you almost as bad as Christmas. It's like the cold weather arrives and you put on some pounds thinking "oh I've got PLENTY of time until summer" then before you know it you'll be celebrating St.Paddy's day and then BOOM summer is here. There are girls in bikinis, it's too hot to wear shorts and NO time to lose the weight. Well I'm going to give it my best, the first step is cutting down soda. I usually have somewhere close to 3 sodas a day plus maybe a glass of sweet tea so today begins my one soda or glass of tea a day rule. Wish me luck.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

A pallet of Lucky Charms please.

My dad is from the upper part of the state and this weekend he and my stepmother traveled down to exchange gifts and visit before Christmas. Among some of the gifts we received was a paid membership to Sam's Club! When we opened the bag I was like a little kid receiving a year's worth of candy. I was so excited I was literally bouncing up and down. The membership isn't something terribly expensive, but it's something that was EXTREMELY thoughtful and something we would never buy for ourselves but would use if we did have it. As soon as we left breakfast this morning I begged hubby to swing by Sam's to get our cards made, and my loving hubbs agreed. I was tickled pink to go in and have our pictures taken and then....the cards couldn't print. Their printer was apparently on a mission to ruin my happy day, but I didn't let it. We took our temporary card and proceeded to shop. We spent almost two hours in the store browsing through the isles and comparing this and that. Needless to say I am thoroughly pleased with our gift. Sorry this post isn't very long or funny my head is still spinning from the gallon sizes of Duke's mayo. DUKES people!

Saturday, December 22, 2012

I adore Teen Fiction Books, so sue me!

Yay, we didn't all die. Now I guess I need to go pay my internet bill. I never really thought we were all going to die, but hey it's always nice to have a new awareness that you are alive. So I started reading Clockwork Angel ,  by Cassandra Clare which is a book that takes place 150 years before the AH-MAZING Mortal Instruments series. She is such a good writer, and I seem to fall in love with all of her characters. Seriously, I am twenty-five years old and yes I ADORE Young Adult Fiction books. There I said it. There's just something about them that draw me in. While I also appreciate an adult fiction, historical, or biography book I always find that I am drawn to the teen section. I use to be really self conscious about it casually mentioning I was looking for something for my younger sister, but I think the library ladies knew. My card's history was filled with books from Melissa de la Cruz, PC cast and Kristin cast, Scott Westerfeld, and Stephanie Meyer to just name a few. I'm pretty sure they would smirk whenever I had five or six teen books and one Margaret Maron mystery novel. Now however I am somewhat carefree in my book selection. I will march right in and spend hours just browsing the backs of books in the teen section like it's my job. Nobody should be ashamed of reading, no matter what you read or what age it's targeted for. Maybe you're forty-five and adore Harry Potter? More power to you! Maybe you're twenty and still love Pat the Bunny, Awesome! I read a great post called The Reader's Bill of Rights and it is AWESOME and hilarious so check it out!

Thursday, December 20, 2012

How do they make it through their day without grumpy cat? HOW?

One of the downsides to working in a tool store filled with primarily older men is that nobody really understands any of my internet humor. I spent almost 30 minutes trying to explain I can has cheeseburger to them.

" So it's a website of cats?" looking at me like I was some crazy person
" Well...yea, but some other animals too, they're doing funny things and there are captions written in cutesy writing, and it's REALLY funny." Fixed with a really stupid grin and really happy to be sharing the joy of  I can has Cheeseburger.
" But...it's just pets." sounding dubious like I'm trying to sell them something.
" Yea, and they say funny things on the picture captions." excitement beginning to fade.
" ......."
" Nevermind."  Excitement gone.

They literally have never seen any meme, nor know what one is. They were clueless when I made references to  Sweet Brown ain't nobody got time for that and thought I was crazy when I started singing Hide yo' kids Hide yo' Wives, I am not kidding you, in fact these are the same people who when I said I was excited for the Hunger Games coming out one of them literally asked " What is that like a new board game?" It's like I'm friggen Tom Hanks in Castaway, just me alone on my little island with people who know nothing about internet culture. Sometimes life can be hard.....



Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Idiot Customer Dealings Level: 25% off Coupons

Why? Why must you come into the place I work and do stupid things that make me want to call your mother on you? We have started offering a coupon for 25% off an item for New Years Day Only in the store. yay. They are stationed at our registers in the open right next to the credit card machines. You would not believe the number of people who say:

 " Are you going to mail those to us?"
 " No sir you need to take one now. We get rid of them all before on the 31st."
" Can I have one?"
" ( thinking: no dummy we put those there to tease you. They're actually only for the attractive customers.)....Yes sir"
" I'm going to be there for that sale."
" Actually sir that's a coupon. You need to grab one of those and bring them in on the first to use it and get that discount."
" I have to bring it in?"
" Yes....it is a coupon."

 The best was this: 
" I want to use this 25% coupon now."
" I'm sorry sir, that is for New Years Day only..the first of January."
" But I won't be here."
" I'm sorry sir, but if you're near any other stores you can use it there."
" I'm not going to be."
"....sorry..."
" NO I should be able to use it now" ----- serious
" Sorry sir we can't do that."
" THIS is bullshit. I shouldn't be penalized because I won't be here...THIS is not fair." ----beginning to yell
" .....sorry.."
" Call a manager this is bullshit. I wont be here y'all need to give me the discount NOW." 

.......after a manager told him what I already said he then dropped his items on the counter and yelled that he was tired of being hassled and would NEVER spend his money here again. Here's the facts: if YOU stopped shopping at these big stores, and you literally got EVERY member of your family to stop and EVERY SINGLE friend they knew to stop shopping there as well, it would not make one little blip on their company radar. Small, local stores do need every bit of business they can get, but not these big giant stores. Stop being a tool (haha see what I did there) smile at the cashier and then leave. It is THAT simple.









Sunday, December 16, 2012

Allergies? Here 4 month old have some pancake syrup...

Well the Christmas get-together went well. My munchkin was passed from person to person and I totally kept my cool. I never once got irritated or upset, I let everyone who wanted to hold her get a chance to hold her so...I win first time mommy party award. The only thing that bothered me...other than my sister-in-law completely metaphorically stabbing my husband in the back...(story for next time kiddos) is the fact that TWICE people gave her food against my wishes. My munchkin already has a milk allergy, and EVERYONE knows that I do not like feeding her anything but the soy milk and some pureed food, but this weekend not only once but twice people slipped her things.

The first incident was letting her taste a peppermint stick and the second one was when they dipped their finger in maple syrup and gave it to her. Now I understand that this isn't like feeding her mashed potatoes or anything but I am very hesitant with what we feed her especially with her allergy and here they are doing it on purpose against my wishes. It did upset me, and my hubbs didn't care which didn't make me any happier. I didn't find out about these events until AFTER they happened which pissed me off more. MY question is would you be upset? Am I being too sensitive about this? I never brought it up or fussed, but I assure you I was not a happy camper. I just think they should have respected my wishes.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Heartbroken.

My heart is heavy today. Please pray for all the children and families in Newtown, Conn. I could not imagine the sorrow they are feeling my heart is breaking for them and all the little ones who are spending their Christmas with Jesus. God please be with their families and please heal this pain.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Notification of Wonderfulness

OH MY GOODNESS. I have a follower. I about fell out of my chair when I saw that happy little notification of wonderfulness. I heart you and anyone else out there reading, but especially YOU because you thought I was awesome enough to follow. Much, much love. I could keep going, but I'm going to stop here because I don't want you to feel all creeped out and awkward, and push you away. I couldn't imagine the horror of opening my blog tomorrow and seeing 0 followers. Talk about worst way to begin a weekend. Speaking of weekend, I am not looking forward to a 3 hour (first time) car ride with my munchkin and hubby while we are all still feeling under the weather. NO FUN. So please say a prayer for my sanity and all the other motorist out there who might cut me off or annoy me because I'm sure my nerves will be shot and I may yell a few things that no mommy should be yelling. I don't really have anything interesting to say today so I'm going to direct you over to the amazing ladies at Rants from mommyland because they are hilarious and are truly some amazing things this Christmas season to help other mommies so check them out.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

creeper old Italian man totally hit on me

I was sick all morning, but managed to pull myself together for work because I'm a responsible adult and whatnot. Later that afternoon I had an older Italian gentleman (80 or so) tell me I was beautiful literally seven times, and it got to that awkward stage where he wasn't just complementing me, he was practically undressing me with his eyes. Going from someone's zany grandpa to the old guy who slaps the nursing home ladies' butts in just a few short moments. He was just standing at my register talking to me, and I had a line so I was trying to nudge him out the door, but he just continued to call me beautiful and so I tried making a joke to make this all less awkward ... " I'm just going to keep you here, you make me feel good." hahaha small joke. WELL he then was like " ok...I'll stay." and proceeded to stand by my register until I checked out the rest of the people in my line.

Meanwhile I am making eyes with my other cashier mentally screaming OH MY GOODNESS can you believe this creepy guy?? When the line dies down he then begins talking to me all over again about how beautiful I am, even though I told him I was happily married and have a child. It was definitely moving past that frozen smile, ok your funny now go away phase to the ok dude you're about to be slapped with a restraining order. He finally went away when I was called into the office ( to be rescued by my awesome boss) but he made sure to say. " ok...I go now..but I will be back to see you my gorgeous."........yay. I can hardly wait. Just a word to any older men reading this: don't flirt with the cashier. She is probably not having a good day to begin with and she doesn't need your creeper self asking her out. it's weird. just stop....that is all.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

DIY pallet coat rack. Part 1 : Planning

My house is pretty small, and currently has no coat rack or mudroom which is an issue because I have a husband who is messy and dirty 90 % of the time. Plus now the weather is getting colder and wetter and I'm really tired of friends having to leave their coats draped over the couch or the chairs in the kitchen. I wanted something that was cheap, relatively easy to make and totally chic...who doesn't right? So I did what every thrifty DIY gal does and browsed Pinterest.

 It didn't take me long to find a pallet coat rack and pallet bench that both look awesome. Although the style is a little more rustic than our current home decor I think with a different coat of paint and a few modified details I can pull it all together. I'm not all that woodworking-inclined but my husband is so I've been trying to sweet talk him into starting this as soon as we get back from our Christmas trip this weekend. Here's to hoping! If you're curious about the plans and details you can find them both on my House & Home  Pinterest board.

(which by the way..since I originally mentioned my Pinterest page and Food (Can you say YUM!? Food board) board my followers have went up by TONS:
Main: from 55 to 97
Food: from 61 to 89
YAY...whoever read this and decided I was cool enough to follow I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are awesome-possum.)

I plan to blog out this entire endeavor but it really depends on the hubby AND our Christmas schedule as to when the project can begin....here's to hoping I get it before 2013!



Monday, December 10, 2012

Her knuckle was in my nostril. I kid you not.

Today I had to pick up a prescription at Wal-Mart, and while I was waiting I figured I would go get my eyebrows waxed. Laugh all you like, but I have tried five different nail salons, and hair salons around town and Wal-Mart's nail ladies are by far the cheapest and do the best job. I LOVE when they do my eyebrows because they take a good amount of time waxing, cutting, and tweezing until my eyebrows look perfect. So here I am, walking into the salon and it was a miracle because there was no wait! I sit down in the chair and lean back trying to relax while she is getting everything ready. 

When she begins I have my eyes closed and we're talking a little, she then waxes one of my eyebrows and my eye starts to water. She asks if she hurt me and my immediate thought was oh it's just hot wax...no biggie. Can we hurry this up I have a walking on hot coals appointment later on today? But I just laughed a little and said " No, my eyes always water you're fine." she then goes on talking to me about the weather, and Christmas THEN because of the angle she was at one of her knuckles literally goes into my right nostril. Not touching it, or against it, literally IN IT.

When this happens she just keeps talking like normal and all I can think about is OMG your knuckle is in my nose. I couldn't speak or move, it was a terrible line between hilarious and horrible. Then she casually moved her hand and finished. I was somewhat in a daze when I paid and tipped her and then walked towards the pharmacy. My head was a myriad of questions:

Did she notice? Was this normal? Does she accidentally do that all day? How many more nostrils has that knuckle been in? She was wearing gloves wasn't she? Why can't I remember? Was my nose running? Should I have moved a little? Wouldn't that have put my eyebrows at jeopardy?

So...if anyone is reading I would love for someone else to say that this has happened to them. Maybe not...maybe I'm the only one who has had a nail technician's knuckle in their nostril, but I really hope there are others out there. Maybe we could start an awareness group? Santa is a liar and don't lean back too far or you will get her knuckle in your nostril. We'll meet on Thursdays, I'll bring the cookies.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

JUST like Edward Cullen, but less sparkly and moody

I am feeling very accomplished today. We only have a few more gifts to buy (like three), then the stamps to put on our Christmas cards and then we are officially finished! YAY! This is awesome, but I feel like I'm somewhat masochistic during the holidays. I have this neurotic side that HAS to get all the gifts done within the first 12 days or so of December, and then as soon as I get the gifts wrapped and put under the tree I get impatient and want everyone to open them all. Whenever the recipient comes over I have to force myself to not thrust the gift on their lap and say " open it, open it" like a little kid.  It's literally mental torture to have something you know someone is going to LOVE and have to wait weeks for them to open it when it's just RIGHT THERE! I just want to spread a little Christmas joy is that so bad? Yes it is, as my husband lovingly points out....

" If you let everyone open their gifts now, when we see them on Christmas they wont have anything to open from us. Then you will feel awkward for them not having anything from us...ALTHOUGH they already got their gift. Then you will want to bring something else for them to open and we just can't afford that vicious cycle."

Touche Hubby, Touche.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Sometimes you just don't fit in.

I'm a member of quite a few blogs, and it seems like every week at least two or three of them are doing a " link up your best post for the week" post. I love finding new blogs to visit and check out, but this past week was particularly exciting because I finally have my own blog! Now I can link up to the parties and attract new members (or any members at all) but there is just one little problem: For some strange reason I happen to sound like a semi-psychotic crazy person based on my post titles. I start browsing titles that have already been linked up:

What the Holidays mean to me
You can never get these moments back
BEST sugar cookies EV-AH!
Our beautiful tree 

Meanwhile I'm at my monitor going...hhmmm the post about chicken hoo-doo or the one about poopsplosions? Maybe Santa is a liar. People should be made aware of that after all.....So clearly I will not be linking up to any "best post of the week" parties until I stop sounding like a really weird creepy mommy in a sea of normal mommies. Which means I may not be linking up for a very, very long time. le sigh.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Santa is a dirty liar.

Santa is a liar. There I said it. I'm sorry to disrupt the thoughts of sugar plums dancing in your head and stoplights blinking bright red and green, ( first of all: when do plums dance? Secondly: stoplights are always those colors...way to pay attention to the road people, and you missed a color: yellow) all because Santa is a liar. As I told you the other day we went through a whole crapfest with a wardrobe change at the mall, and then the crying, and finally the sullen picture. Well we also wanted to buy a photo package. Santa was the only one there who knew anything about the packages because the two girls taking the picture were covering the real photographer's lunch. WELL the packages that were available didn't offer that many photos, I was needing about 10 medium size and a few wallets,however there was a digital download available so I asked Santa.....


" If we buy the digital download could I take it to walmart and have larger pictures printed out?"
Lying Santa: " Absolutely....it's yours. You can print it out at walmart, or CVS, or wherever you choose."
Me: " Sounds GREAT, we'll take that please."


Then Santa tried recruiting my husband into the lying Santa brotherhood because he also has a beard and I guess he was looking particularly jolly that day? So we make it home and the photo card says you have to wait 24-48 hours to get the picture, no problem. I made a plan to print them out on Friday along with our Christmas cards.... so I get all excited and download the picture, which looks sullen and hilarious at the same time, and then I opened up the "release" which says

This permission does not extend to printed images

Not Cool Santa, Not Cool. Maybe you should re-evaluate your own actions before placing others on the naughty list...just saying.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Dealings with customers and Pinterest Update

Ok, so I don't have any followers on my blog, but obviously someone must have been reading because overnight my Pinterest board went from 55 followers to 76 ALSO the Can you say YUM?!? board went from 61 to 68 followers!! WOW basically consider me giving you a huge virtual hug...unless you're germophobic and that would creep you out, and in that case I wrote you a very thoughtful thank you note....because that is pure awesomeness and it totally made my crappy day better, true it could have been pure coincidence, but I like to think otherwise.

Ok so I work at a tool store. This is a chain, but not one of the big boys..more like the big boy's distant cousin. Anyway...there are some really AMAZING customers that I come in contact with. There are some who make my day brighter and who I would truly miss if I left, but then there are those other ones. If you have worked in retail you TOTALLY know what I'm talking about. They just make me wonder HOW they have made it thus far in life. Here are a few things that I get the pleasure of dealing with on a daily basis....

 1) AT the checkout counter, customer walks up and lays tons of stuff on register then proceeds to throw down a booklet ...
Customer: " Are there coupons in here ?"  ( a COUPON booklet with bar-coded COUPONS that was sent to them) 
Me : " Yes sir, and if you have any in there that you would like to use just show them to me and I can scan them for you. You don't have to cut them out"
Customer: " Well I don't know...is any of this stuff in there?"
Me: " Well sir they print over 400 coupons a month so I can't be sure."
Customer: " Well how about you look through that and find them for me " ( for ALL 32 items on register)

REALLY?!?! I'm not the one saving money here, why would I spend that much time helping YOU save money when you're not even polite or friendly to me.ALSO you're holding everyone else up.

2) Customer throws receipt at counter.
" That girl charged me more."
Me: ? ( like we have a "charge more button or something")
Customer: "It was suppose to be only 1.99 and she charged me 3.00!!"
Me: " Alright sir, well let me go verify that and if it's a different price we can change it."
---- it's listed as 3.00, show guy and then he pulls out a bar-coded coupon.
Customer: "SEE?!? It says 1.99!!!"
Me: " Sir, that is a coupon we have to scan that bar-code at the bottom to bring it down to that price."
Customer: " Well that is ridiculous, this is not a coupon."
Me: " Yes sir it is...see that bar-code? It is a coupon."
Customer: " show me where it says that this is a coupon"
Me: " under the item title...." this coupon entitles you to....."
Customer: " WHATEVER just give me the difference."


So yea...more to come later. Once again thank you everyone who started following my pinterest boards, I hope you find some amazingly delicious food recipes on my site or cool ideas for your home..whatever you're into.


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Santa, and Pinterest Paranoia

Baby's first trip to see Santa went down today. We made the trip in the afternoon to guarantee there would be no lines, and thank God because lo and behold the first time we sit her on his lap she screamed like a banshee and cried like we hadn't fed her in years. So we walked around the mall looking at stores, and lights until she was calm enough to try it again. We made our way back, sat her on his lap and it was a miracle...no tears or screaming! No we did not get a smiling, happy picture..in fact she is sort of looking into the camera like " seriously? The dude with the beard again?" but hey...I'll take it!

In other news, I have something like 55 followers on my pinterest page, but on my "Can you say YUM!?!? " board I have 61 followers! More than my main pinterest page, and it seems like EVERYONE is re-pinning my pins from there. Of course whenever this happens I get super giddy happy, like a child with a new toy. I feel validated that my taste is so awesome that other people want to follow it which is sort of vain, but if you're a pinner you TOTALLY know what I'm talking about. Anyway, I get so happy but all of these sudden followers and re-pins have me paranoid. Are they following for the sweets? or regular food? or the appetizers? Do they expect a pin a day? Is a pin a day too much? I don't know...for now I'm just going to keep doing what I have been doing and pin what makes me drool. It seems to have worked so far which is the first time my sweet tooth has done something good for me.....

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

WIZARDS that is what I think about when work is boring

Random thought:

In Harry Potter if a wizard yells " Expelliarmus" their opposing wizard's wand flies out of their hand away from that wizard. SO the now wand-less wizard has to go run after their wand and the attacker has the chance to use another spell without worry. NOW my random question is this: Can you use it more than once like that dollar prank where you let the wizard get close enough to barely reach it then BAM another expelliarmus and it's across the room again, or does the spell need a wand to be in a hand to work? I think it's the second one because the first just seems too easy and mean to be true, but then again J.K. Rowling did kill one of the Weasley twins so anything is possible. These are the things that keep me up at night...not really it was actually just something I randomly thought of at work while mindlessly scanning items at the register. Either way..something to think about.....



Monday, December 3, 2012

Why do bad poopsplosions happen to good people?


Well the sickness seems to be passing. My lungs still feel weak, but on the bright side I no longer have a hacking cough that usually only accompanies someone who has been smoking since they were five...seriously it was a bad one. The sad part is that it could have worked out to my advantage just a few short weeks ago with that HUGE Black Friday crowd outside of Belks because NOBODY would have wanted me next to them, but eh what can ya do? The munchkin is better too, she was all smiles this morning which was a whole heck of a lot better than last night.

Last night she had a poopsplosion. My spell check is telling me " poopsplosion" is not a real thing, but I along with all the other parents out there are here to tell you that yes it is. It is a diaper that is so horrible it is literally like she had an explosion...of poop. I feel like I'm a little late in telling you this but consider this a warning: I'm talking about poop now...you might want to put your food down for a moment. Maybe just finish the meal and then come back to the blog because, as I am quickly learning...parenthood is messy, and gross. Anyway back to the poopsplosion....we were just finishing up dinner when she started to get a little fussy and make some noise. That was also when the smell hit us both. Hubby graciously volunteered, because I had changed a dirty one earlier and so he took the little one down the hall to the nursery. It was then that I heard " Oh my God. Seriously?!? HOW?? HOW???"

I started laughing, and making my way down the hall to go help, but when I walked in he was just staring at it like a man faced with the task of building the pyramids. This of course brought me to more laughter, but then when he turned to tell me to either help or go away he accidentally let munchkin's foot get away from his grip and it of course lands smack in the poop. This took me out of my laughing spell because if there is one thing you do not want around your walls, silver picture frames, and great-grandmas castle piggy bank it's a poopy wild baby foot. She of course starts kicking and wiggling, and I sound like Rose from the Titanic screaming " Don't let go. Hold onto the other foot.Never let go". Hubs is still trying to get the wild poop foot back in his grip ( I swear he acted like it was radioactive flesh eating lava rather than poop. Not saying poop isn't horrible, but it does wash off and hey man you're a parent now it's going to get a lot worse than this) when I start pulling the dirty diaper out from the baby, munchkin then manages to smear her poop foot all over Hubby's hand which he in turn makes a jumping motion and yells out " UUGGHH gross" and that of course makes me drop the poopie diaper from the changing table to the floor.

Needless to say I will be investing in some carpet cleaning equipment, also possibly an " Everybody Poops" book for my husband.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Meds, Chicken Blood, oh and Welcome

I realize that it is probably not the best idea to start a blog when you, and your whole family of three are sick and on medication but hey when you want to write you've gotta write, right? We have been sick for about four days now. My little one ( 4 months.) started it all with a small cough that turned into a hacking cough which then spread to me, and I spread the love to my husband, oh what fun. After a four hour long E.R. trip we found out that she has Bronchiolitis and RSV, I am assuming that is what my husband and I have as well, but who knows. The little one is actually the least bothered by it out of the three of us thank God, so at least we have that going for us. RSV isn't fun it's pretty much a hacking cough with TONS of congestion and mucus. My little slice of the virus also included nausea and MONSTER headaches...painting a lovely picture here aren't I? So here we are lounging on the couch, myself getting sucked into the amazing world of Pinterest, and my husband reading.

This is not a normal sight in my family I assure you. My husband is a smart man, but he HATES  reading in the same way that some people hate malls, or crowds which come to think of he hates as well, which is completely opposite of me....anyway I digress. When the hubby finds something interesting to him whether it be making your own slingshot, doomsday preppers or oddly enough couponing he will actually read about it. Today was something called The Foxfire Book . This is a set of books about " lost arts" and "old-timey things" the very description of the book he was reading is this : " Hog dressing, log cabin building, mountain crafts and foods, planting by the signs, snake lore, hunting tales, faith healing, moonshining, and other affairs of plain living. ". Sweet. It was in this moment that he turned to me

H: " Hey babe...I'm on a chapter about home remedies for sickness.."
Me: " Uh-Huh..."
H:  " It says here if a child has an illness you should prick their finger, putting a drop of blood on a piece of corn which you then feed to a black hen."
Me: " Specific....well go get me a damn chicken "
H: " Black Hen...and that would mean we would have to prick her finger"
Me: "We'll try it on me first"
H: " It says childhood sickness"
Me: "I'm a child at heart!"
H: " This is science it doesn't work that way!"

Well we never tried the backwoodsman voodoo or would things involving chikens be considered hoodoo? I don't know, either way no ones finger was pricked, we are all still sick and this is where I am leaving you, but first a quick intro. I'm a new mommy and I'm from the Southern parts of the United States. I started this blog simply because I like to write and I think that some of the things I do are interesting and who knows maybe someone, somewhere out there will want to read about it. I like making crafty things, baking, spotting deals, and finding out little tips and tricks all of which I plan on sharing. This is simply a peek inside my little bubble.