Monday, December 3, 2012

Why do bad poopsplosions happen to good people?

Well the sickness seems to be passing. My lungs still feel weak, but on the bright side I no longer have a hacking cough that usually only accompanies someone who has been smoking since they were five...seriously it was a bad one. The sad part is that it could have worked out to my advantage just a few short weeks ago with that HUGE Black Friday crowd outside of Belks because NOBODY would have wanted me next to them, but eh what can ya do? The munchkin is better too, she was all smiles this morning which was a whole heck of a lot better than last night.

Last night she had a poopsplosion. My spell check is telling me " poopsplosion" is not a real thing, but I along with all the other parents out there are here to tell you that yes it is. It is a diaper that is so horrible it is literally like she had an explosion...of poop. I feel like I'm a little late in telling you this but consider this a warning: I'm talking about poop might want to put your food down for a moment. Maybe just finish the meal and then come back to the blog because, as I am quickly learning...parenthood is messy, and gross. Anyway back to the poopsplosion....we were just finishing up dinner when she started to get a little fussy and make some noise. That was also when the smell hit us both. Hubby graciously volunteered, because I had changed a dirty one earlier and so he took the little one down the hall to the nursery. It was then that I heard " Oh my God. Seriously?!? HOW?? HOW???"

I started laughing, and making my way down the hall to go help, but when I walked in he was just staring at it like a man faced with the task of building the pyramids. This of course brought me to more laughter, but then when he turned to tell me to either help or go away he accidentally let munchkin's foot get away from his grip and it of course lands smack in the poop. This took me out of my laughing spell because if there is one thing you do not want around your walls, silver picture frames, and great-grandmas castle piggy bank it's a poopy wild baby foot. She of course starts kicking and wiggling, and I sound like Rose from the Titanic screaming " Don't let go. Hold onto the other foot.Never let go". Hubs is still trying to get the wild poop foot back in his grip ( I swear he acted like it was radioactive flesh eating lava rather than poop. Not saying poop isn't horrible, but it does wash off and hey man you're a parent now it's going to get a lot worse than this) when I start pulling the dirty diaper out from the baby, munchkin then manages to smear her poop foot all over Hubby's hand which he in turn makes a jumping motion and yells out " UUGGHH gross" and that of course makes me drop the poopie diaper from the changing table to the floor.

Needless to say I will be investing in some carpet cleaning equipment, also possibly an " Everybody Poops" book for my husband.

1 comment:

  1. Pardon my French, sunshine, but I am PINNING the SH!T out of your blog! You're HILARIOUS. Like Hyperbole and a Half HILARIOUS.