Ah the birthday which has turned into such a circus I'm totally not even going to write about it. There's just too much to list....I wanted a small gathering, it's turned into a chaotic 50 people tent circus. There...you're all caught up. What I can't stop thinking about though is forgiveness. There is a certain someone, who I HIGHLY doubt reads this, and I honestly don't care if they do... they know who they are. They have wronged me (aka: thievery) and I have forgiven them, then they wronged me again (more irreplaceable family heirloom thievery), and I forgave again then it happened again ( when I was in the hospital...giving birth...and among stealing my brand new birthday present from Hubby also..stole my mom's *wrapped* birthday present as well).
I know what you're thinking...why be around them? The problem as you may have already guessed lends itself to not being that simple. I have to be around them. I am forced to be around them, not everyday but at the important moments like my kid's first birthday. The better part of me wants to forgive and forget, but ya know what that other part of me is really tired of getting walked all over. So far "that person" has not been allowed to stay at my home, nor will ever again stay at my home and has yet to apologize, replace, or fess up to stealing everything that has been stolen. I hope they understand that they will never be apart of our life. Ever. Hubby wanted to confront them and make them feel bad but I wouldn't let him. People like that are scum and all they would do is deny it and it would just cause drama and they are not worth it.
This was a year ago, so I honestly don't know what compelled me to write all about it. I think maybe because I really want my munchkin to be an honest, forgiving person and I wonder if I'm setting a bad example, but then again I don't want her to be used and stolen from repeatedly either. It's a hard line to walk between wanting to do the christian thing and also wanting to punch someone in the face. ( deep right?) I am obviously going to see this person soon and as much as I hate that this might get a few people asking questions and mad that it's even being brought up all I can say is this:
AUGH! The mirror in our lives kicks in yet again. I am currently also struggling with this issue. Here's what I KNOW about forgiveness. Forgiveness releases YOU from the bondage of feeling attached to their comeuppance. That's all. Forgiving someone and continuing relationship with them are very different things. You can also forgive someone AND confront them with their actions. Forgiveness is really ONLY about choosing to let God have your back and letting Him deal with whatever "price" they are going to have to pay for their behavior. Which leaves the sticky business. At what point do you need to sever a relationship with someone (particularly a family member) because their behavior isn't changing? (Whether it is a refusal to admit the wrong done, refusal to right it, or just plain old re-offending constantly, etc. Doesn't matter.) In my mind, that point comes when their capacity to do harm outweighs your ability to mitigate that harm. Choosing to avoid drama but hanging onto resentment and remaining unwilling to resolve the relationship doesn't really do anything for anyone in this situation. I LOVE that typewrite image and quote you posted, it hit me where I LIVE in a deep way. But it's hard to hold someone accountable for their actions when you haven't confronted them about them. So to behave with integrity, in this circumstance, to me, it would be important to let the offending person know that they aren't welcome, because your possessions aren't safe when they are around. Because really, they AREN'T welcome. Obviously, neither is drama, but you're going to have drama no matter what you do, because if they DO show up, and your stuff leaves with them, there will be drama between you and your hubby, and there will be drama in your heart no matter what happens, because you will be less able to enjoy a milestone event for your baby girl if this person is around. So choose your drama, mama. Love you.
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