We decided to eat at Ryan's last night and it ended up being a crapfest. We left later than we normally do for supper at about 7:30 and all seemed well until we got our plates. I had just finished my salad and Hubby had just finished his chicken when she started wailing. I'm not bragging here, but my baby doesn't scream. Seriously. She may whine a little, but a bottle or picking her up will calm her right down. This was different. She screamed like a little bald-headed banshee and would not stop. Her little face turned red, and she did not want the bottle, she did not want to be held she was just screaming. She was in the car seat next to Hubby and he immediately jumped into protective/panicky/embarrassed daddy. He scooped her up and said he was going to calm her down by taking her outside. Great.
So there I was sitting at the table, picking at food and keeping my eyes trained on the door like I was secret service and Munchkin was the president.They returned a minute or so later and then as soon as he sat down she rubbed her little eyes and started screaming again. He grabbed the diaper bag, her car seat and walked out the door without saying one word. I was stunned, he just left me. I didn't know whether he was trying to calm her down again or if he was wanting to leave. I would have left a tip and got the hell out of there, but inside the diaper bag that he took was my wallet. So there I was mortified and just sitting there alone unsure of what to do. I don't have a phone to call him, and I wasn't about to stiff the waitress so I just sat there looking like a moron.
I could basically feel the eyes of everyone around us on me. I have no embarrassment that she cried, it's going to happen and that's just how it is. What was killing me was that he just left and I didn't know what to do. I was alone, unsure, and mad that we even tried going out to dinner so close to her bedtime. Hubby returned with Munchkin still crying, put money on the table and again without a word headed for the door. I of course immediately got up and walked out with him. He was in panic mode wondering what was wrong I was furious he just left me and irritated that he couldn't see that she was just tired. A mile or two down the road she was fast asleep in the car seat and Hubby finally calmed down.
He then began ranting about never going out to dinner again, and I was silent. He finally realized I was mad when we were halfway home and after explaining why I was mad he apologized saying he assumed I would know that he was trying to calm her down again. I so did not, but I grudgingly accepted his apology. She slept peacefully and I had a bowl of cocoa puffs for supper. Lesson of the day: NEVER take your baby out to dinner even remotely close to their bedtime. They will bring your lovely night to its knees and make you beg for mercy.
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry you went through that. New parents go through this kind of stuff a LOT. Sometimes you just can't help it, you've gotta eat when you've gotta eat, though I'm sure sometimes this translates into a "drive through" situation instead of a sit down meal. Good for you guys to think about the other customers and try to get her settled with as little disturbance as possible to the other people, I know I would have felt as embarrassed and on display as you did, but I'm sure people weren't being as harsh as the committee in your head was making it seem.
ReplyDeleteSo now that the dust has settled a little and you've all had a chance to get some sleep and cool off, it would be a good time to chat with Hubby about adjusting the communication portion of the plan of attack, or at least making sure your wallet isn't in the diaper bag if he's taking off with it for a possible "Mission EVAC the Overtired Munchkin".
It happens. Nobody died or got hurt, and honestly, the other diners were probably grateful he took her out when she started fussing. Good parents a) try to comfort and soothe their kids, and b) consider the feelings of other people. So you guys win both categories. You just need to work on the communication part of the game plan.
Thank you so much for your words, seriously. You're right, looking back it probably wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it was, but it did show us we need to communicate more when our plans go south. I'm definitely taking the advice of going through a drive through especially when it's so close to her bedtime. Thank you again for the encouragement and support!!!!!!! You are the best.
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