Monday, April 29, 2013

10 MORE things you should never do or say to a retail cashier

If you haven't checked out the first list, you can find it here . I hate humanity for making me create a second list, le it goes.

1. (Walks up to me with a list and hands it to me) Can you go get these for me? You'll be able to find them quicker than I can THANKS!

Are you really this lazy or are you just too stupid to find your way around a brightly lit store? Either way you should probably go play in the road if you do this.

2. Literally throwing money down on my counter instead of placing it in my open.waiting.outstretched.hand.

You better pray I never find out where you work.

3.Is there a store in ( another state, another county, another country..etc..)? Where are they located at there?
Oh I'm so sorry...when I got the job they didn't hand me a printout of every single store they had and ask me to memorize it along with what street they were all on and their individual phone numbers. Sorry I'm so incompetent, you should write a letter.

4. Is this coupon expired? ( hands me coupon ) 

Did you just lose your vision in the five seconds it took you to come through the door and walk to my register?

5. (Phone Rings) Do you have ____? What's the price of that? Is it on sale? What's the regular price? When does that sale end? How big is the box? how heavy is the box? What color is it? What is it's favorite color? What was it's mother's maiden name?

I do not have time for this crap. You did not call QVC, if you have that many questions go online or visit the store.

6. Hey baby where is _____ at?

You and your mullet owe me an apology.

7. ( Phone Rings ) Yea...I'm heading your way, where are you located? No...I don't know where that is. No..not there either. No, doesn't sound familiar. No I don't want to go that way. No, I don't want to take the highway. Exactly how many miles are you from here?

If only they made something that could tell you how to get to places easily, or maybe a map that you could look at online before you left.....someone should invent that.

8. ( Literally right after they pay) Can I have some scissors? I'm going to open this. ( opens package, leaves all of his trash on the counter, takes item and throws scissors down)

Thanks, my busy counter was just DYING to have your discarded trash placed on it.Toddlers know how to pick up after themselves...TODDLERS!

9. Me: Hello welcome to ______! How are you? (looks directly at me and then continues to walk away without so much as a smile in my direction)

 You're doing that good huh?

10. (this happens a lot more than it should ) Excuse me miss...I know you won't know what I'm talking about, so do you have a guy that you can call up to answer my questions about this screwdriver?

You're so right, I don't even know why they let me run a cash register, women are inherently horrible at math right? Should I go cook you something and pop out some babies?

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