Everyone said it would happen. They all warned me and I just didn't listen. I'll be honest, I just never thought it would happen to me. It started out as such a lovely day. I had a weird dream about Kim Zolciak from the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
She apparently had invited me to a pool party. I was really uncomfortable and wanted to leave, but her daughters were there and begging me to stay. I felt really bad for them and I told them they could visit me whenever they wanted which did seem to placate them. I was getting an awesome tan and I remember thinking heck yea a tan in winter! Then Kroy came out and they started having an argument and I was trying to get out the pool really quiet and then KJ started crying so I was like "It's cool..I'll get him, ya'll carry on". Then I felt bad all over again for the poor kid so I offered to take all of the kids home with me and then I woke up before I found out her response.
It was strange and sort of awesome to be near a D list reality star...even if it was only in my subconscious. I don't allow drama in my life so watching all the housewives shows are my sources of small drama that doesn't concern me or my family in the slightest which really is the best kind of drama. So I'm really doing my family a favor but just watching it and not ever being involved in any...at least that's what I tell them.
So there I was, weird but cool dream and a great day. Then the evening came and I decided to play with munchkin. I was picking her up, holding her, and rolling around the bed with her. We were having so much fun. I decided to lay on my back and hold her up over me bringing her out and then in towards my face. She was laughing, I was laughing then I held her above me again and she spit up. In. My. Mouth. Which was completely open by the way. We also have her on soy formula. Let that soak in for a minute
Have you ever just been around a baby who gives off a soy burp? It's enough to knock you out. Now imagine that same vileness being spit up from above you and land directly into your open mouth below. I did not vomit, but I did gag and washed my mouth out about four times. Every one warned me... they all told me not to, but I didn't listen. I didn't ever think my sweet little baby girl would spit up in my mouth like a screwed up, backward, feeding mother bird. I thought about not sharing this golden little nugget, but there are already enough websites out there glamorizing motherhood and ya know what...it's not that glamorous. Don't let Heidi Klum convince you otherwise! I will admit that there are some days that are sunshine and giggles, but the others are spit up in your mouth...that's just how it is. Now excuse me while I go call my mom and get a good dose of " I told you so".