Friday, January 4, 2013

New Mommy Ramblings

As a new mom I have found myself wondering, thinking, and doing certain things that never in my life would I have thought, or done. Here is a small list:

1. Lifting up my baby in public and bringing her tiny butt to my nose to see if she has a stinky. As a mom you just don't think about it. You hear her make a loud poot and you do a sniff test to see if it warrants a trip to the bathroom. Stop a minute and think about it in a non-mommy way: I have picked up a tiny human and brought her butt directly to my nose for the sole purpose of determining if I smell feces. Who does that? New mommies that's who. I can almost see the look of horror on the non-mommy's faces.

2. Kiss Law & Order SVU goodbye. Pretty much anything that involves anyone getting severly hurt, killed, or scarred for life. I tried watching one episode and cried my eyes out, I think shows like that should have a warning for new mommies on them. If it's a child getting hurt you just die inside and then for the rest of the day you hold on to your baby like a rabid wild monkey clutching her young. You would think things happening to adults would be ok, but then you just sit there thinking that was someone's baby and revert back to example one.

3. I let munchkin do tummy time on the couch while I was in front of her and she loved it. The only problem was that she left a huge drool stain on it right before company came over. When they arrived without even thinking I said "Oh that stain on the couch is drool...not pee or anything." It wasn't until much later that it occurred to me: when did I have to start reassuring guests there was no urine on my furniture? Never before I assure you. Even when we were housebreaking the dogs they had the decency to pee on the floors, and now that we have a tiny human there is no telling where the result of bodily functions will appear. 

4. Speaking of stains they will appear magic. I spend more time then I would like to admit staring at a stain and deciphering where and what it came from. Some formula leaking here, some pureed food smashed into the fabric there, and of course there is always the chance that it just might be a drool spot waiting to dry. While others are sipping coffee and reading the paper, I'm drinking mine and staring at a new spot on my couch like it holds the answers to life.

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